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page 74
there in the half-light, reading, not Lolita, but a novel by de Sade. Bodies around a tree. How detached it seemed. How distant. Outside was fear. Inside the contemporary art museum, a giant newspaper boat. Knives suspended from the ceiling. Saddam was bombing Tehran. Mum told us the noise was thunder in the mountains. Then the windows shattered. Adults gathered around the radio. My great aunt refused to go into the cellar. If a bomb hit the house, she wanted to die straight away, not get trapped underground. Every night, sirens, bombs, anti-aircraft guns. Every morning, warm bread for breakfast, mint, feta cheese, hot tea. Sometimes crisp, cool kharboozeh, a pale green melon from Masshad. Very good with bread and cheese. Noon o paneer o kharboozeh, Bokhor bebeen che khoshmaze! My dad would teach us the rhyme: Bread and cheese and kharboozeh, Eat and see how delicious! It didn’t work in translation. Bombers were targeting the airport. As our plane took off, you could feel the relief, smell it: the adults all lit up. 66
page 75
Heathrow airport always smells the same: rubber, tarmac. We soon reached home. SW13. Its air of quiet moderation. Semi-detached houses with magnolia trees. Pancake races round the duck pond. Every spring, cherry blossom. Leafy, suburban. We were the noisy foreigners. Thirteen days after Persian New year, No-rooz, we’d carry plates of wheatgrass down to the river and throw it in, to take the bad luck away, hoping no-one would notice or ask what we were doing. Little green islands floating towards the sea – Wapping, Greenwich, Tilbury. 67

there in the half-light, reading, not Lolita, but a novel by de Sade. Bodies around a tree. How detached it seemed. How distant. Outside was fear. Inside the contemporary art museum, a giant newspaper boat. Knives suspended from the ceiling. Saddam was bombing Tehran. Mum told us the noise was thunder in the mountains. Then the windows shattered. Adults gathered around the radio. My great aunt refused to go into the cellar. If a bomb hit the house, she wanted to die straight away, not get trapped underground. Every night, sirens, bombs, anti-aircraft guns. Every morning, warm bread for breakfast, mint, feta cheese, hot tea. Sometimes crisp, cool kharboozeh, a pale green melon from Masshad. Very good with bread and cheese.

Noon o paneer o kharboozeh, Bokhor bebeen che khoshmaze! My dad would teach us the rhyme:

Bread and cheese and kharboozeh, Eat and see how delicious! It didn’t work in translation.

Bombers were targeting the airport. As our plane took off, you could feel the relief, smell it: the adults all lit up.

66

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